King Dork

I'm currently reading "King Dork" by Frank Portman. It is utterly hilarious. It tops my list of favorite sarcastic, cynical, unbelievably funny texts, making it beat Colbert's stint at magazine editing slip into close second. To give you an idea of how wonderfully humorous this book is, let me just say that the author's picture is a black and white shot of him with a robot woman; and reviews of the novel note it as a " piercingly satirical and acidly witty" "occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear [account of] what it's like to be in high school." Full of "realistic, self-aware teen angst" and "sharp/offbeat humor." Good stuff.

In the novel, the main character is continually coming up with new names for his semi-imaginary band--some of which are: Baby Batter, Helmet Boy, and We Have Eaten All the Cake. In light of Portman's genius and as a tribute to all lonely and misunderstood dorks, I have decided to begin my own list of potential band names (that I will never use):

Cupcakes in Soho
Acid-Free (double meaning)
The Muffin Tops
Metal Tea Party
Miley Cyrus' Best Friend's Neighbor
The Sparkly Chemist
Dampit and the Curvy F-holes
The Radiator Queens
The College Graduates
Tambourine Euphoria
Watch This
Muppets on Strike
Maid of Dishonor
The Yeowoman
Inknote
The Oxford Man
The Talented Mailmen
Discord
Broken Kneecap
Antifreeze Weekend
The Baby Blue Nuggets